and then the weather does this

...and I feel bad for ever snapping at it.

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talk about an awkward pre-adolescence

Today's post is brought to you by Ivan the Terrible:

And by Elizabeth Swan:

And by daughter's "little baby hen" Maribella (who, I am suspecting more and more every day, is going to need to have his name changed):

And, finally, by Tiny:

Have I mentioned before that life gets considerably more complicated when you have four chickens living in the bathtub?

Their first day outside is going to happen soon. It was supposed to have happened already, but, unfortunately, it hasn't. Wanna know why?

Because today's post is also brought to you by the letter 'S.' As in Snow on the windows. On May FLIPPIN' twenty-second:


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okay, here's the thing

Be forewarned.

You should never give me something cool, random and free, like, say, an old hunting trailer:

Because something inside me will inevitably take over, until the original thing you gave me will start to become an Even More Original! thing.

Why is this? What is it about me that always wants to take something perfectly fine and scre- um, pretty it up?

Don't rightly know, but it's a streak I've always had. And I'm okay with that now.

As the "prettying up" process unfolded (and, really, the process is still just getting started), I kept hearing John Cougar Mellancamp's southern drawl saying, "...and we're gonna paint the mother PANK."

Does anyone remember that line from his Little Pink Houses/MTV album promotion back in the 80's, when JCM (or was he still just John Cougar at that point?) was supposed to actually show up at the contest winner's house and help a bunch of the lucky winner's friends paint it pink?

There's no telling how things might degenerate - er, how much MORE original things might get from this point forward (i.e. just wait 'til I get murals painted and epoxy some big ol' rhinestones on there).

You think I'm joking, don't you.

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um...

Okay, so it is the merry month of May, right?

I mean, it's not like I've slipped through a random crack in the space/time continuum, and it's really February again, right?

Because, when I woke up this morning and looked out the back door, this is what I saw:

The animals, all of whom have lost their winter coats by now, were looking at us humans like this was somehow our fault (when we all know it's really Bush's fault). Daughter built a snowman:

(which, uh, had a rather embarrassing skin condition apparently). Then she came inside to drink some hot apple cider and watch A Charlie Brown Christmas (I kid you not), which somehow managed to get left out months ago after I packed away all the other Christmas videos and DVDs. Listening to Linus plinking out "Jingle Bells" on his piano and hearing Lucy say, "Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, you're the Charlie Browniest" was extremely jarring somehow, with summer only weeks away. I told the husband it was like eating liver pate' for dessert - just plain wrong.

Fortunately, yesterday, we were able to visit the Grand Canyon Deer Farm with our 4-H Clover Kids group before the snowstorm moved in.

No, shy, timid wallflowers, these ungulates. Especially when the nearest human has a handful of deer treats.

Yeah, so I got a hump. What's it to you?

Okay, okay. I get the picture. No donkey treats. Sheesh.

Maybe I should have taken the reindeer as a sign that all would soon turn funky in the world of Northern Arizona weather.

Course, I got me some goat love, which means that even a spring blizzard can't bring me down.

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attention Wal-Mart shoppers

So, I'm in Wal-Mart on Saturday, returning a $6 toaster which (shock!) stopped working after the fourth toast, when an announcement comes over the speaker system:

"We have a misplaced little boy back here in the layaway department. He appears to be about four-years-old and Native American, wearing a red shirt and blue jeans."

A Navajo lady nearby turned to one of her teenaged children, sighed and said, "Sounds like your father's lost again."Follow @nicole_mcinnes

you tell me

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hell yeah

How cool is it that Gretchen Wilson went back and got her GED at the age of 34? As someone who used to teach GED classes in an uber-rural part of Arizona, I know firsthand what a challenge it can be for working adults struggling to just put food on the table to carve out the time for something like that. It's such an important step, though, and I've seen how finally holding that little piece of paper can make a person look at him/herself in a whole new light.

Gretchen is out there giving interviews, talking about how it was a mistake not to graduate from high school and how, now that her daughter is in school, she realized it was important to set the right example, to be able to help with homework, etc. How many of her fans who chose to (or had to) leave high school for whatever reason are now thinking to themselves, "If Gretchen can do it, so can I"?

I think it's awesome.Follow @nicole_mcinnes

cowgirl bling

I spent Saturday at a rodeo queen contest with a bunch of 4-H girls. For as much time as I've spent in the horse world (about 25 years now), I've had pretty limited experience with the rodeo. I mean, aside from watching a few local events, admiring the scenery

and noticing that bull riders at the National Finals have started wearing crash helmets (It's about time, says I, the old riding marm), Rodeo and I haven't crossed paths much. Of course, every time I hear Garth singing about it I wish I'd spent my life on the circuit. But I digress.

I have to remind myself occasionally that I chose "Try it" as my motto for 2008. Besides, it's not like the whole rodeo queen thing was for my benefit. As the great Bob the Tomato once said, "It's for the kids." And what the 4-H girls want, the 4-H girls get. I'll admit it. I'm a total pushover (I've even managed to wheedle them in as my ring stewards for a show I'm judging later this month, so they can get a center-ring view of the classes).

So, anyway. Rodeo queens (like cheerleaders and beauty pageant contestants) = Extremely visible, flashy targets for all sorts of ridicule. But, you know what? Some of those girls were really impressive. Not only did they have to memorize and perform a reining pattern on the spot, but they had to dismount in front of a panel of judges and stand there looking pretty while answering a bunch of random, off-the-cuff questions like, "Can you name a famous bronc rider?" and "Can you point to your horse's gaskin?" and "Who is the stock contractor for the 2008 Pine Country Pro Rodeo?"

A couple of the girls were clearly flustered by some of the questions, and I heard a few of them tell the judges, "I'll look into that and get back to you" (with those dazzling smiles glued firmly in place, of course). After the Q&A each girl had to mount up, ride over to the announcer's booth, take the mic and deliver a speech to the crowd about why she should be chosen as this year's queen. Then she had to demonstrate a victory lap around the arena - at a gallop - while holding up a huge American flag. Heck, I'd do that and more for the chance to wear the flashy chinks that get passed down from queen to queen every year. And don't even get me started on the tiara.

Anyway, the winner was a completely adorable Navajo cowgirl with a smile that could melt steel, a personality that could re-carbonate a keg of flat sarsaparilla and a thorough knowledge of all things rodeo. She was a solid hand, too, on her big, borrowed paint. Total crowd favorite, and I think everyone but the runner up's mom was thrilled that she won.

When I got home I saddled up Zzari and headed out for a long ride all over the prairie. I rode up to a big ridge I'd never visited before, and from where I could see a little lake/cattle tank below. Then I discovered an old homesteader's cabin, long abandoned, before heading to my favorite spot on Earth, which is basically a big pile of boulders that sits on a hill overlooking the prairie below with pine-covered hills and mountains all around it.

I love bling as much as any cowgirl, but I guess I love the simple stuff just as much. It was pretty fun to enjoy both in one day.

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how was my weekend?

Oh, it was great, thanks. Really special. In fact, it was a lot like this.

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the quick and the dead

Well, it was quite a weekend. Our hatch that was due on Friday didn't start making an appearance until Sunday. Here is some of what we saw when things started moving along:


This was on of the first "pips" in the shell that we saw:

After a chick pips, it "zips" the shell -sort of pecks away in a semi-circle until it's able to start pushing its way out:

It's so exciting to see that first real fissure in the egg shell start opening up:

Then you start to see some feathers. Silkies have black skin (and even black bones, apparently), so even the lighter-colored ones look black when they're still wet at hatching time:

There's one little claw:

Free at last!

...except for this darned sombrero, which was a bit hard to shake:

Ah, nap time. Nobody told us they were going to look and act like drunken space aliens who'd been severely slimed on their journey to Earth:

This is a bit more comfortable:

And before long, there's a buddy in the 'bator:

By late Sunday night, we had three new chicks and one more pipped egg. The chick that took the longest to zip the shell (about 30 hours) had its feet curled into little clenched fists, so it wasn't able to get around like the others. I ended up splinting its tiny, weak toes to try to straighten them out, after being told that this should be done ASAP. For a while it looked like it was rallying: I'd dipped the tip of its beak in water and tried to introduce it to some warm chick starter mash so it could get its energy up. By last night, though, my husband and I agreed that it didn't look good, and despite all efforts my son went into the bathroom first thing this morning and woke me up to tell me that he thought it had died. Sadly, he was right. It was hard, but it wasn't a shock; and I also knew we'd done as much as we could for the little one. So, we had a chick funeral first thing this morning before school. My son asked me if the burial spot was a chicken graveyard now, since that's also where we buried his prize-winning rooster after it was killed by dogs last fall. I told him I guessed it was.

So, that was a little somber, but it wasn't the hardest part. The hardest part was when I went to check on the remaining pipped/zipping egg in the incubator. Since yesterday it had been making progress, but it was very slow progress. Last night, my mother-in-law and I debated about maybe putting it under the broody hen to see if that would move things along, but we eventually decided that leaving it undisturbed would be the better option. I wish I'd paid more attention and intervened, though, because it didn't take long for me to realize that, though it had about a centimeter of the shell zipped, there were no cheeps and no signs of life as there had been last night. Sure enough, when I took the egg out and started picking away at the shell with my fingernail, I could see that the little chick had died, probably at some point during the night.

Part of the problem, I believe, was that it had pipped the wrong end of the shell (the smaller, pointy end), which meant it didn't have as much room to move around and peck itself out. The chick was also huge (and perfect looking), so I'm pretty sure it suffocated in there. That was the part that got to me - the fact that I could have easily chosen to get in there and help it out if I had maybe paid closer attention and realized the chick was in trouble. That was the part - that sense of culpability - that had me sitting out on the back step with the dead chick still partially cradled in its egg bawling my eyes out. If only.

But I have to remind myself that I didn't know. That even experienced egg hatchers lose chicks at all stages of the incubation and hatch process. It's a beautiful and brutal thing, this life and death business. Now, it's time to tend to the life part, to the sweet little survivors:


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day 22 (or: and then there were six)

Chicken eggs need 21 days to incubate before they are ready to hatch. During those three weeks all sorts of changes are constantly taking place, eventually turning that microscopic little dot on the yolk into a full-fledged chick. Tons of genetic and environmental factors can influence the final outcome, however. For instance, if an incubator's temperature spikes a few degrees for an hour or so, there's a good chance all the embryos will die. I haven't had to deal with temperature spikes during my first incubation experience, but I have had humidity issues. One of the biggest was the discovery at the end of week 2 that my PetSmart hygrometer was defective. I thought I was maintaining a lovely 62% humidity for days on end, only to find out (when I finally got suspicious) that the stupid thing read 62 percent whether I put it in the 'bator or outside (where the humidity was right around 15%).

Anyway, we're at day 22 now, which means the hatch is officially overdue. But I'm not worried or anything. Nah. Not me. I've just been shining a light through the incubator window every five minutes because I have nothing better to do. Yeah, that's it. I must have stared for hours yesterday as the eggs started to rock and roll a little, and when the kids and I actually heard cheeping from a couple of the eggs this morning you would have thought Willy Wonka himself had just announced that we'd all won golden tickets.

It would have been lovely if my broody hen had been ready to set when the eggs arrived, thus allowing me to bypass all this anxiety and overwroughtedness (is that a word?). But she wasn't. She is now, though:

The other hen isn't broody at all, and I think it's because she views herself as just way too above all that sitting-on-eggs nonsense. That blue ribbon from the fair last year went straight to her head, I tell ya:

My mother-in-law (aka the genuine farmgirl in the family) came over to candle the incubator eggs a second time, this time with a more powerful candler. Unfortunately, when held to the light, most of the eggs glowed like little yellow Christmas lights (which meant there were no chicks inside). In fact, when we broke those 18 eggs open (outside in the fresh air, of course), only one of them contained an embryo, and that one looked like it had died in the first week. The others showed no sign of an embryo presence, much less development, which leads me to believe they weren't fertile in the first place, or they were scrambled by the post office en route from Florida to Arizona, or a combination of both.

Anyway, so there we were - down to six eggs. It was sad to see the incubator so uncrowded all of a sudden, but that's the breaks (especially with shipped eggs, as I've learned). The good news was that we saw definite chickage in the remaining ones. That's when the last, longest part of the wait began. I was glad to get away to Phoenix for a couple days, and then a new job started up, which kept me further occupied. There was a 4-H meeting to get ready for, too (I lead the local horse group), and that turned out to be fun. My husband gave a shoeing demonstration, and we all stood out in the arctic wind, proving what tough equestriennes we are (yeah, right).

There was a new tomcat to figure out, too. This is Mogi (short for Mogollon, which is pronounced Mogiyon)...

...so named because the Mogollon Rim just south of Flagstaff has the dubious distinction of being one of the most lightning-struck places on the planet, and I think Mogi looks just like a grey thundercloud over the prairie.

He may be something fancy, too, like one of those Russian Blues. All I know is he's young and sweet, and he definitely seems to be sticking around. Also, those fuzzy little round things between his hind legs will be snipped off very soon.

But still, despite all these distractions, I have continued to worry, and I continued to obsessively research all the things that can go wrong not just during the incubation process, but during the actual hatching process, when you'd think you'd pretty much be in the clear. But Nooooooooooo. Chicks can drown in the air sacs before they pip the egg (make that first little hole). They can suffocate inside membranes that dry out too quickly after pipping (back to the humidity issue), and they can fail to fully absorb the yolk or hatch with their intestines hanging out. Nightmare-creating stuff, I say. I told my husband that I would have made a completely neurotic hen, so it's a good thing God made me a female human instead.

He chose the strategically intelligent response of total silence.

Then I started to worry about my kids. They've been so patient and excited during these past three weeks that the thought of a failed hatch hurt my heart on their accounts. So, I hemmed and hawed, and deliberated and thought...and then my neighbor mentioned that the feed n' grain in town was due to get another shipment of day-old Silkie chicks in the next day.

You just knew this was coming, didn't you?

There's four, one for each person in the family. Mine's the big yellow one, and I've named it Ivan the Terrible due to the fact that it unmercifully tried to peck the sh*t out of all the others their first day home. If it turns out to be a pullet and not a cockerel, I'll call her Ivanka.

I dare you to tell me the last time you saw something cuter.

I'll let you know how the hatch goes.

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better stand tall when they're calling you out

Okay. I totally have no clue how to get the concert pics off my cell phone and onto my blog. What a dork.

Anyway, here's a bad video clip someone took at Saturday's show. Like I'm one to talk.

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dudes.

I'm so psyched. I'm sitting here in a Phoenix parking lot waiting for my husband to finish up one of his Microsoft re-certification tests, so I thought I'd get online and try to figure out who's going to be opening for Bon Jovi tonight.

It's DAUGHTRY!!!!!!!!

Okay, I thought I was excited before.....

:-D !!!!!!!!Follow @nicole_mcinnes

a normal-sized fig leaf would do it

Wait for the anteater.

Wait for it.Follow @nicole_mcinnes

adventures in egg candling

My mother-in-law, who is a true, authentic, dyed-in-the-wool farm girl, came over this afternoon to candle the Silkie eggs that have now been sitting (and hopefully growing) in the Little Giant incubator for eleven days (that means we're officially more than halfway to hatch day - hooray!). In case you're not familiar with egg candling, it basically entails shining a bright light through an egg to get some idea of what's going on inside. Ideally, you want to see a growing embryo in there, and some people on the egg boards I frequent (yeah, I know, I'm a total poultry geek) even report seeing a little beating chicken heart!

I tried candling a few of the eggs in the dark of the closet yesterday with a flashlight, but it was a very disconcerting experience. You know when you get a bad headache and decide to look up your symptoms online, only to discover that you surely have a brain tumor the size of a grapefruit and about 36 hours to live? Well, I've been doing way too much incubation "research" online lately, so I was sure that each egg I shined light through was either a) an explosive about ready to blow, or b) a total dud that had never been fertilized in the first place.

Fortunately, my MIL was able to dispel some of those fears. She came over with her homemade candler, and the kids and I followed her into the guest bathroom, turned off the light, and watched her expertly "read" our 21 potential peeps. So far it looks like we have only two or three true duds (eggs that were never fertilized while still developing inside the mama hens). It was hard to tell if the remaining eggs contained live embryos or not, but there was definitely something in there.

On another farmy note: I was watching RFD-TV the other day, and they were doing a show for corn-growers (did I mention I'm easily amused?). One of the farmers commented that corn has recently gotten very expensive - no kidding! Gallon jugs of corn oil from Wal-Mart (which we use for supplementing our 27-year-old gelding's feed) were going for $5 last year. Now, they're $8!

Don't even get me started on hay prices. Sheesh.Follow @nicole_mcinnes

yesterday I got so old...

I guess I've come down with a touch of the post-birthday blues, since yesterday turned out to be quite nice - no marching bands, no bi-planes writing my name in the sky, but there were beautiful homemade cards from the kids, a lovely cake and more concert tickets from the husband (to see The Cure in June)!!! They were my favorite band of all time about twenty (GAH!) years ago, and I haven't seen them live since the early 90's, when I went with a guy who wore more eyeliner than I did. Oh, wait - DUDE. I am so totally going to wear the Punk Rebel Sketchers I bought in California last year when going through a personal crisis!

It promises to be much fun (and a little strange if my husband actually joins me, since he hasn't had a single punk/new wave tendency in his life).

I also got these lovelies from a dear friend of whom I'm now quite jealous since she has a pair of baby ducks and got to see them swimming around in her sink today:

I'm feeling a little broke this weekend, so I think it will be a quiet one involving egg turning, sleeping in and catching up on some work. Oh, and I picked up a copy of The Assassination of Jesse James to watch, since I didn't get to see it while it was on the big screen. Can't wait to see how my old teacher Ron's book translates to film. I recently finished another edit of my lit fic-turned-YA manuscript, so that's off my plate for a while and onto my agent's. The editor feedback thus far has been incredibly helpful, so I have hopes that it's getting closer to finding a home.

Have a lovely spring weekend, Everyone!

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for those about to rock

I turn 38 tomorrow. Yup. Inching ever closer to the big Four-Oh. That's okay, though, because Oprah assures me that 40 will be the best year of my life. So, I'll have that going for me in a couple years.

For my gift this year the husband is giving us a trip down to Glendale to see Mr. Bongiovi and the gang. I can't wait. We saw them in San Jose a few years ago for the Have a Nice Day tour, and it was - DUDE - totally radical. I just hope Richie can hold it together long enough to play that night. Last time we saw the band he had just broken up with Heather, and it wasn't pretty. He still worked that six-string over, though.

I've been prepping my eardrums for the big event by traumatizing the speakers in my truck with the following:

A little Nickelback (because nobody holds a candle when it comes to Joseph Cambell-ish testosto-ballads. Gah - Chad Kroeger's voice makes me all goosebumpy. What a nice Canadian export.)

Queen (because Freddie was magic, and they walked the line of hard rockin' vs. sweet sentimentality so flippin' well)

Night Ranger (because, I'm sorry, who DIDN'T pound out this particular drum beat on their steering wheel in the 80's?) (Also, this video was partially shot at my high school's rival - Tamalpais High - which, incidentally, was where my junior year prom date went to school... and I've now officially crossed into TMI territory)

Finger Eleven (because they are essentially the love child of Franz Ferdinand and Metallica, with a disco ball hung over its crib. Also, David Sylvian - the patron saint of the Pretentious Twits of the Late 80's Association (PTL8A - of which I was a card carrying member) - has filed a paternity suit.)

And then I've been warming down with a little Jason Mraz, because...well, I don't know, actually. It could be that he has finally achieved universal domination by brainwashing all of us with this song. Even if that's the case, I still totally dig the chicken-and-egg theme.Follow @nicole_mcinnes

the return of rhythm

I was going to write a post called "Goosed" a few weeks ago. It was going to describe my experience of standing at the horses' water trough as it filled and hearing a far-off sound that was almost foreign but not quite. The sound tripped some ancient sensor in my brain, which suddenly started going through all the accumulated audio files, trying to place it.

Finally, I looked out into the sky above the prairie and spotted the source: one lone goose, the first I'd seen since this time last year, headed toward the bird sanctuary next to our house. He was flapping and honking, honking and flapping, as if to say (warning: shameless anthropomorphizing ahead), "I'm here! I'm here! I'm here." (Or, "I just flew in from Mexico, and boy are my arms tired.") His honk sounded like someone opening a big, rusty metal door over and over again, and it was a glorious sound. It was the kind of sound that made me want to honk right back at him or maybe start dancing in place. It was the sound of nature's orchestra getting ready to warm up the instruments.

The music hasn't begun in full yet, but activity in that orchestra pit is heating up. After our brutal winter in which all music and rhythm seemed to be pummelled and then buried under icy sludge, I'm almost getting used to the sound of birds calling to each other first thing in the morning; The sight of green grass clumps here and there on the property no longer startles me; My crocus leaves poked through the ground last week, and I spent a few hours yesterday with a couple of little girls - spring's sparkling, unencumbered poster children - planting some late, pink tulip bulbs and gathering eggs from the coop (eggs which made a great snack when we came back inside and cooked them up).

There's no way to capture this fleeting return of the rebirth season really, no way to preserve it in Mason jars or on film as the commercials would have us believe. I guess the best I can do is give it a shout out. So, "Yo! Spring! Good to see ya back!"Follow @nicole_mcinnes

perspective

I was sitting in the waiting room at the doctor's office today when a couple came in with their little boy and brand new baby girl. It was hard not to stare: The dad was tall and handsome; the little boy had these adorable curls, and the baby - SO cute in her little yellow pj's (size 0-3 months, no doubt). The mom was very pretty, too, in a Molly Ringwald sort of way - or at least I'm sure she was underneath the massive eye bags and cloud of utter exhaustion that hung over her.

Now that my own kids are school-aged, I look upon new mothers with the compassion of someone who has been through that particular war zone and survived (even if it sometimes felt like the survival was the "just barely" kind). Because while it is obviously beyond awesome to hold that new little life in your arms and nourish it with your body, new motherhood can also (in my experience and the experience of countless women I've known) be an incredibly lonely and sometimes scary place. The sense of responsibility you feel is enormous - which would be unsettling enough if you were well-rested. Add sleeplessness and all the attendant tension and hormones into the mix, and the situation can spiral downward quickly. And while I never experienced clinical post-partum depression, my hat is absolutely off to any woman who does.

Why am I blogging about this? I don't know exactly, other than I guess I realized today that I have the sort of perspective on the care and feeding of babies that I didn't think I'd ever have when I had babies of my own. Perspective is goooood. It made me want to sit down next to that new mom in the waiting room and tell her, "It won't always be like this. It will get better. You will get your life back. It may not ever be quite the same, and it will come back in increments, but it will come back. And when it does your heart will swell in compassion at the sight of an exhausted new mother, because by that time you will proudly wear the badge of someone who has been through that particular war zone and survived."

Of course, I didn't sit down next to her and say that, because the look in her eyes told me she might bite my head off in one clean snap if I did. That's probably the same reason no one ever told me. It's okay, though. I discovered it when the time was right.Follow @nicole_mcinnes

vicarious gestation

I suppose vicarious incubation would be more accurate, since we're talking about eggs here. I actually ordered them months ago from a Silkie breeder in Florida, but then chickened out (so to speak) when I realized that - duh - I'd be trying to raise baby chicks at the coldest time of year. Fortunately, the lady was willing to put off the egg shipment until earlier this week.

You'd think I would have learned my lesson at this same time last year when we had five chicks living in the kids' bathtub, but I'm nothing if not stubborn. So, there's an incubator with 21 eggs inside set up in the master bedroom. I find myself obsessively checking the hygrometer to make sure the humidity level inside the incubator is where it's supposed to be (it never is, because - hello? I live in Arizona). How chickens were ever introduced into this climate I'll never know.

And it's not just humidity and temperature levels I'm obsessing about lately. Did you know the eggs need to be turned on a regular basis (i.e. several times per day?) In the absence of a good, broody hen who will get up off the clutch of eggs to do this instinctively (we have good hens here but not broody ones at the moment), you can buy automatic egg turners which will do this work for you. But was I going to take the easy route through this process? No, sirree. So, I've been turning the eggs several times per day by hand instead, starting first thing in the morning and ending last thing at night before bedtime. The husband found me groggily turning the little darlings right after I woke up this morning. "Aren't you supposed to do that with your beak?" he asked. Har.

Anyway, hopefully, I'll have much fluffy cuteness to share in a few weeks. Until then, I'm just hoping no disasters happen - like power surges and exploding eggs (which is possible, and what better way to become a total insomniac?).

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nobody puts baby in a corner

It just made me incredibly sad today to read that Patrick Swayze is battling pancreatic cancer.

For one thing, I was a teeny-bopper Dirty Dancing fan, just like every other teenaged girl I knew in the late 80's.

For another, Patrick and his wife Lisa Niemi have had a tremendous impact on the Arabian horse world (note: scroll all the way down to the bottom of the site and click on the link in the lower right hand corner). Who could forget Polly Knoll's famous shot of the man and his gorgeous Egyptian stallion, Tammen?

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offers comin' over the phone

Must. Remove. From. Inside. Head.Follow @nicole_mcinnes

seeing the unseen

All seen things are temporary. All unseen things are eternal. Take time and know that what you seek is like music—it sweeps you along so you are moving in glory among the stars. Take time to find the unseen. ~A Wrinkle in Time

My husband recently brought home the movie version of Madeleine L'Engle's classic book. I remember reading it in grade school and feeling my grey matter stretching. I liked it, but even at that early age I must have realized that I was not going to be an avid reader of fantasy or sci-fi - genres that call so strongly to some readers and not to others. Anyway, the movie was actually pretty good, if a bit new agey woo-woo in places. Now I want to go read the book again, but it may have to wait until my current attempt to get through Antonia Fraser's Mary, Queen of Scots has been satisfied.

And continuing on a note of cerebriality (I don't think that's an actual word, but I like the way it sounds and looks, so I'm keeping it), this video and subsequent written explanation touched me deeply. Talk about seeing the unseen. I found it via Neatorama, which is always a reliable "good stuff" source.Follow @nicole_mcinnes

kid logic

This from my daughter after she brought the bag of mini-marshmallows to me so I could read her the ingredient list:

"If they have water in them, that means they're pretty healthy."

In other news, GREEN GRASS has been spotted outside in the yard. Spring WILL reign victorious over this long winter in the end...oh, yes it will. I also saw my first beetle bug of the season yesterday. This may not sound like big news where you are, but it was here. Just to see some random alive and growing things after months of snow, slush and ice borders on life-changing.

Of course, we still have March ahead, and other residents around these parts keep reminding me that it's traditionally our worst snow month, yada yada yada. Looks like it's going to come in like a lamb tomorrow, though.Follow @nicole_mcinnes

until the blog comes to a full and complete stop

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why I love this day

It's not just the hearts and flowers, chocolates and homemade Valentines from the kids, though I adore all of the above.


It's the fact that it's now officially mid-February, and though another snow storm has socked it to us today (I was actually driving around in a white-out earlier), there's no denying that Spring is on its way. Good things are afoot, too, though I don't dare talk about them just yet for fear of jinxing.

It's been a long, cold winter, but it's not going to last forever. So, hug that sweetheart if you currently have one. If not, hug the next best thing - your dog or cat, or your life-sized Simon Cowell blowup doll. There's always something to hug.Follow @nicole_mcinnes

I wanna see a love report on my desk in the morning

...in triplicate.

I mean, I know it's technically not Valentine's Day yet. But it will be. Oh, yes. It WILLLLLLLLLLLL be (mwa ha ha ha haaaaaaaa).Follow @nicole_mcinnes

redneck cryonics

So, this big storm settles in last week, dumps a ton of snow and then clears out, making room for the next storm, which added to the drifts at our place until some of them were waist-high. In between those storms, on Saturday, we grabbed the opportunity to go sledding as a family out in the woods behind our house. The snow was really nice for sledding, skiing, snowboarding, etc., the only problem being that it was almost too fluffy, which meant that a good sledding chute needed to be created.

We found a good spot on the riverbank- steep but not too steep and with minimal rocks and other obstacles. First order of business was to figure out who had the best stats for tamping the area down with the metal disc sled. Turned out son was too light and daughter too reticent, which left Mom and Dad. I went ahead and gave it a try: Oomph! Urgh! And down the hill she goes in lurches and scoots. The next trip down went a bit more smoothly but not, apparently, smoothly enough for the husband, who was getting visibly impatient, old sledding pro that he is.

"Here, let me try that thing," he said, reaching for the disc. Clearly, he had an idea - nay, a strategy for knocking out a sledding chute worthy of the Jamaican bobsled team. I stepped out of his way, and the three of us watched as our fearless leader set the disc on the ground and then lay across it on his belly, so he'd go down the chute head-first. Oomph! Uuurgghhh! And down the hill he goes, like a flounder just awakened from a long winter's nap. Like a flounder wearing Wranglers, which are roomy enough at the waist to allow several generous scoops of snow to pack firmly down into the front of his britches.

Of course, if you want something done right you have to do it yourself, so "Here, let me have another go at it," I said, hitching up my own favorite pair of lady Wranglers and laying belly-down on the disc. Predictably, halfway down the hill I felt the unmistakable bite of my ovaries being flash frozen like Han Solo in The Empire Strikes Back.

Sure, we could have headed home at that point, but the chute was finally starting to take shape. So the old man and I ended up jumping around a bit instead, clutching wincingly at our reproductive bits now and then while cheering on the kids as they whooshed effortlessly down the hard-earned chute. Hey, the prairie ain't no place for wussies.

Plus, it's kind of cool to know that between the two of us we've probably got enough biological material preserved to start a family centuries after we're gone.

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superphat tuesday

I hope you're all planning to head to your favorite polling place today and throw your hat in the ring for your favorite candidate. And I hope that if you don't have a favorite you can at least decide who's the lesser of two weevils.

And for those of a Catholic-y persuasion on this Fat Tuesday: Happy pigout!Follow @nicole_mcinnes

nicole and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day

So about that whole inner ear/dizziness thing from last weekend resoving itself? Yeah, not so much. What happened instead was that I ended up sitting in my doctor's office in tears today, clutching the side of my face and apologizing profusely for looking like such an Edvard Munch painting.

This is not like me. Normally, I take pride in the stoicism I am able to display in the face of discomfort (oh, shush, all you people who know me). But, oh the humanity! I seriously haven't been in this much pain since bearing my first child (who was nearly ten pounds and came out with his fist clenched next to his face) without any anesthesia. Oh, there was that little teensy shot of some completely worthless liquid the nurse added to my IV "just to take the edge off," since it was by then too late for me to get an epidural. (I just about took the edge off her when she said that, let me tell you.) But I pretty much birthed the boy sober, intent on the whole "natural childbirth" idea. It's a lovely thought - really, it is. Still, when the pregnancy test came back positive the next time around I called my OB and had her write "EPIDURAL REQUIRED" on the top, bottom and both sides of my chart. In capital letters, red ink and much underlining. Also, exclamation points. And someday I may tell you about my not-so-secret desire to run away with the Anesthesiologist (aka Dr. Feelgood) the day my daughter was born.

ANYway. It probably didn't help my facial/sinus/ear/jaw situation that I went ahead and kept this morning's dentist appointment, which I scheduled weeks ago. But do you know how long you have to wait to get in with a good dentist in this town? So, I had a crown done. No biggee. Just, you know, about A SOLID HOUR of having my jaws cranked open so Dr. Death could hone his drilling skills. (Actually, he was extremely gentle, but that doesn't make for nearly as interesting a story now, does it?) Since the crown was being done on the non-painful side of my face, I've spent the last couple of days figuring it would all work out fine and that I should stop being such pansy and just cowgirl up. So, that's what I did.

Problem was, the pain was so intense by the time I left the dentist's office that I actually reverted to Lamaze breathing to get through it. Seriously, it was like labor pains in my face. Fortunately, I'd called my doc first thing this morning and made an appointment to see him after the crown was done. Which brings us to the face clutching and the apologetic sobbing.

"You should never apologize for being in pain!" he exhorted me. And he was so sweet about it that it made me cry that much harder. He checked out my ear and declared that, yup, it looked ooky in there. Then he sent me on my way with prescriptions for pain-relieving ear drops, antibiotics and Vicodin. Yup, Vicodin, aka "party in a bottle." I'm pretty sure the last time I took Vicodin was about fifteen years ago after having my wisdom teeth out. I felt so good so immediately on that stuff that I decided it would be a Really Great Idea! to get on my bike and go for a long, strenuous ride. Needless to say, the next morning I looked like something the cat dragged in, ate and then threw up on the carpet.

So, here's to hoping this thing clears up before I decide to go, I don't know, shoe a couple horses or chop a cord of wood.

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The Liar's Diary

Another snow day for our little school district, and winter has now officially gotten to the point where I'm almost convinced that the rest of my life will consist of the sisyphean task of slogging through thigh-high snow drifts (with plenty of slurpie-like water underneath) to a) grab several flakes of hay; b) slog to the pasture to throw those flakes; c) return to the hay bales and grab more flakes; d) rinse; e) repeat ad nauseum.

Since the kids have been out of school since last Friday, my house now looks like a combination daycare/zoo gone horribly wrong. I wish I had my trusty Nikon to show you the proof of these things, but it's in for its yearly cleaning.

Onward! Today is the official grassroots blogging day for The Liar's Diary, which is being released in paperback.

If you haven't yet read the story behind this effort, go check out Susan Henderson's Litpark. Basically, Patry Francis worked really hard to write a novel and get it published (as any serious writer worth his or her salt does). Then she found out she had cancer. Because this sort of thing will tend to put a little ding in one's promotional plans, the writing community at large is coming together to promote the paperback version of the book for Patry. I haven't read TLD yet, but as soon as I can get out of the driveway I'll be heading to Barnes and Noble. Of course, it can also be ordered on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Powell's and straight from Penguin (where you can apparently save 15%).

Lord knows, working at a writing career can be grueling enough without adding on the burden of a life-threatening illness. If a simple post on my little blog can help sell even one book for Patry, then I consider that typing time well spent.

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more something than a wet hen

I'm glad our chickens are still alive this morning, considering the ice that blew sideways and almost non-stop last night. They have a nice, sturdy hen house, but it couldn't have been too warm in there. For some reason, those hens strike me as the most delicate creatures here at Casa Brackett, but maybe that's not the case. They do have built-in down jackets, after all, and they have survived some fairly dramatic events in their not-quite-one year of life.

I sat up in the middle of the night (awakened by the tic-tic-tic of ice on the windows, no doubt) and realized the room was swimming. I don't feel sick, but there's some inner-ear thing going on, messing with my equilibrium. When I finally got to sleep again, I dreamed of boogie boarding, which is one of my all-time favorite things to do (except when a rogue wave overtakes me, turns me upside-down and scrapes my face on the bottom of the ocean/fills my breathing apparatus (apparati?) up with salt water, which happened once at Santa Monica many years ago). Other than that, body surfing is the best. Unfortunately, in my dream, I was lacking a board and didn't have much time to find one since the sun was going down. Sounds a little ominous.

The kids have yet another snow day today, which means they might not actually get a summer vacation in 2008 considering all the snow days we're going to have to make up at the end of the school year. No matter. Summer is a completely abstract concept at this point anyway.

Let's see...what other random tidbit might I blog about today? Oh, the husband and I watched "We Were Soldiers" last night. He'd seen it, I hadn't. Mel Gibson's Texas accent aside, it was a good movie as far as Vietnam flicks go, but talk about a buzz kill. (Then again, I'm not sure most Vietnam flicks are intended to make a person feel all warm and squooshy inside). All I know is this: The man owes me a chick flick evening BIG time.Follow @nicole_mcinnes

Here's something

to make you wish I hadn't been able to get my computer to start this morning.Follow @nicole_mcinnes

when the centre cannot hold

Don't know why I'm moved to type this post this morning. I'm not in crisis (though any number of family and friends could attest to propping me up during the crisis moments (months?) of 2007). So, it's not a mood thing. In fact, despite the gloomy snowstorm that moved in during the night, I'm feeling downright chipper and productive this morning. Whatevs. Here's a Yeats poem:

"The Second Coming"

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.

Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
Troubles my sight; somewhere in sands of the desert
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Reel shadows of indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again; but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?


Still with me? Reaching for the Prozac yet? Did you count the number of book titles that came straight from that poem? Did you wonder if C.S. Lewis came up with the title "Mere Christianity" in response to Yeats' "Mere anarchy" line? Did you think of Napoleon Dynamite's liger when you got to the part about the creature in the desert? I did.

Okay, then. Here's the part where I channel Dr. Phil:

What do you do (or what have you done in the past) when Things Fall Apart? Here's a (very partial) list of my typical reactions - past and present, good and bad.

Good:
clean the house
prepare the meal
write the book
kiss the husband
call the friend
eat the chocolate
drink the wine (one glass, maybe two)
read the Word (today's verse: "Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD." Psalm 27:14 KJV)

Not-so-good:
stare at the mess
reach for the canned soup
despair about the muse
avoid the husband
screen the calls
eat the chocolate
drink the wine (three glasses, maybe four)
read TMZ.com (today's headline: "Britney Pissed: Get the Eff Out of my Way!!!")

Now it's your turn. Comment anonymously, if you must, but let's be bold, People. You never know who might find comfort in solidarity.

Notes on the poem, which I got from YeatsVision.com Printings: The Dial (Chicago), November 1920; The Nation (London), 6 November 1920; Michael Robartes and the Dancer (Dundrum: Cuala, 1921); Later Poems (London: Macmillan, 1922; 1924; 1926; 1931).Follow @nicole_mcinnes

lady of the flies

Seems I have been tagged to participate in one of those meme things. How is that word pronounced, anyway? In my head it sounds like "memm," but then I think maybe it's "meem," or maybe even "Me! Me!" (as in: Here's a little interesting (or not) factoid about Me!).

So, I have studiously avoided participating in these things. I don't know why. I think I might be meme crabby. Or maybe meme frigid. But I will do this one because Maiden asked me to, and I like her. She has a new blog, by the way. Go check it out! Anyway, here's the challenge:

Instructions for this meme:
Write your tip(s) with a link to who sent the meme to you, along with the instructions. They are better if they are your own discovery, or not widely known. Still, tips that make a difference to you are all good, post your tips in your blog and after your tips, you will want to tag some friends. (No, I won't, unless a massage is involved. Did that come out wrong? I think maybe it did. ANYway.)

It seems the "tips" in question should have something to do with housecleaning, which is not my strong point, but okay. Let's see....a household cleaning tip...Oh! I have one! During the worst of the fly season (late summer/early fall) in the mornings when the flies are still sleepy and crowded on the windows I use the vacuum cleaner attachment to vacuum them up. How gross is that?? Works like a charm, though, and I get a bit more maniacal about it as the season wears on.*Death! Death to the flies! Bwahahahahahah!!!!!!*

And lest you think that I live in a trash heap or something, I don't. It's just that we have horses on the property - also seasonal cattle on the many, leased Forest Service acres surrounding us. You wouldn't believe how hard it is to keep those nasties outside where they belong. Makes me shudder just thinking about it.

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to do:

1) Join in the fray for a fellow writer (read to the bottom of the post)

Got a blog, a site, etc? Why not jump in on the 29th, too?Follow @nicole_mcinnes

oh, she's good

I already can't, for the life of me, recall the particular web-surfing trail that landed me at Cheryl Klein's website and blog. Glad I found her, though. This article/outline/speech is just one of the many gems I've come across via a casual browse through her website archives. Good, nutritious stuff for writerly types.

Here's a snippet of the talk, wherein she writes about falling in love with a book:

"Last year I had a mad passionate affair with an adult novel called The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger—I read it on my lunch breaks, I rushed home from work to be with it, and once we stayed in bed together all weekend."

It made me think of the last book that made me feel this way (Water for Elephants), and why it is that the capricious muse of magical storytelling seems to alight on one author and not another.

What's the last book that either made you stay in bed all weekend or made you wish you could (bearing in mind, of course, that this is a family-friendly blog - lol)?Follow @nicole_mcinnes