Okay, so I'm super excited that I have a book coming out next year. But when I realized I had to start coming up with other things besides decent writing - things like an official author photo, I started to get a little nervous.
Honestly, there are few things I despise more than having my picture taken. For some reason I always end up looking like a cross between Sally Field's version of Sybil and the last dog in this picture currently going around the Internet.
Still, I had a photographer, I had makeup on, and I had a decent location. It was a blustery day, snowing on and off. This was a bummer because of the billowy summer clothes I was wearing, but it was also a good thing, because there was some beautiful, natural light going on (and I really wanted an outdoor setting for my official author photo). Here's the short, 9-shot version of how it went (as opposed to the unabridged 87-shot version):
1. First, an appeal to the Heavens: "Please don't let this be like all the other times I've had my picture taken. Please?"
2. I think it's super important to joke around a little before a shoot. You know, to lighten things up. I'm not sure my photographer agreed. "Okay, so wait wait wait. I have this reeeeally funny joke. What do you get when you cross a duck and a lawn mower..."
3. It wasn't long before I started to feel very nostalgic about the whole thing, even though it wasn't yet over: "Paw? I really want to be a perfeshunal writer someday. Paw??"
4. What? The photographer's yelling at me to get my act together because he's freezing his @$$ off? "Yessir! Whatever you say sir!"
5. "Look at my gums! Aren't they the pinkest, shiniest gums you've ever seen?!?"
6. "F*@#$#% it's cold out here":
7. Okay, I can do this. Breathe, Nicole:
But wait. I feel a change coming over me. A hunger. A sudden, insatiable appetite for...
8. "BRAAAAAAAAINS":
9. I am SO outta here:
Amazingly, I survived. Not sure about the photographer, though. Last time I saw him, he was running through the woods grabbing his skull and screaming something about the Zombie Apocalypse. (??)
I'll be sharing the chosen photo here (don't worry - it's not one of these) when it's all cropped and purty.
