Thursday, July 16, 2009

back and breathless

A full two months has passed since I last blogged, so I figured it was time to roll up my sleeves, take a deep, cleansing breath and get back to it.

But have you ever noticed that, sometimes, just getting back to it can be a little terrifying? This is especially true - I've recently discovered - after major life changes come along and upheave (Is this even a word? Because if it is, I plan to drop it into as many casual conversations as possible) all the terra firma you once took for granted. In the past year I've lost people I never expected to lose, including, to some extent, myself. And you know that thing about how we're supposed to literally become different people every seven years (something about all the changes that happen on a cellular level)? Well, I feel like I've taken the summer session/accelerated path of becoming someone I never knew existed.

I couldn't begin to cover everything I've been up to for the past two months (much less in the last 12 months) in a single post, so I'll try to start small and keep it simple, beginning with what's been going on lately.

As was the case at this time last year, I'm back in the Bay Area, visiting all those sacred (to me) places from my childhood, running at the old high school track, skinny dipping in the old swimming pool, catching up on all the changes that have been taking place here while I've been away and visiting with some of the white-haired neighbors, a few in varying degrees of declining health, who I remember being - a long time ago - roughly the same age I am now.

I can feel how the sand has shifted every time I come back home now. It's scary, yes, but it's also exhilarating, like being a first-timer on a roller coaster that's picking up speed: You know there are thrills and spills in the immediate future, but you don't yet know if they're going to make you laugh, scream or come this close to woofing your cookies. So, whatever's waiting on the tracks up ahead, here's to raising our hands high in the air and settling in for the ride of our lives.

5 comments:

  1. WELCOME BACK!

    To the New Nicole... may this remarkable woman reign for years! Hail, Hail!

    Like the new pic, too :-)

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  2. I don't know about reigning...Now reining, I could do.

    :-)

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  3. yes, and VERY well, too :-) But you can do both at the same as well, too! lol

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  4. Speaking of rain, I think you're seeing clearly now...let the bright, bright sunshiney days commence! :)

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  5. "here's to raising our hands high in the air"—Is it OK to just hang on and laugh while peeing our pants?

    Upheave is good. Sounds kind of tectonic.

    You don't sound exactly gruntled but close enough for blogging.

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